Will The Real Harry Potter Please Stand Up?
by K.A.Kunze
Summary: A filk off "Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up"


May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Harry Potter please stand up? I repeat, will the real Harry Potter please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here.. Y'all act like you never seen a wizard person before I got jet black hair and a lightin bolt scar and I was the one the won the Voldemort war. He tried to curse me but guess what it backfired and didn't work did it, But now he's back(Ahh!) It's the return of Voldemort Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Peter Pettigrew said... nothing you idiots! Peter Pettigrew dead, Black blew up his head(Ha-ha!) Draco hates Harry{*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*} "Harry Potter, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin around fighting you-know-who One day he's gonna die boohoo," "Yeah, but he's so brave though!" Yeah, Winky probley got a couple of screws up in her head loose But no worse, than what's goin on in Crouch's living rooms Sometimes, I wanna get on my broom and just let loose, but can't but it's cool for Vikor Krum to make Lynch crash his broom a bunch "My bum is on my broom, my bum is on my broom" And if I'm lucky, you'll hit the ground with a thud and I'll just zoom up in a with a hunch And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a Wronski Defensive Feint is Of course they gonna know who Harry Potter is By the time they hit their first year They got Colin Ceevey don't they? "We ain't nothing but Harry Potteraholic.." Well, some of us Unspeakables who can't talk to other people openly like Parselmouths {*SLURP*} But if we can talk about Quidditch and Harry then there's no reason that a Cedric and Cho can't marry {*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Snape is a cranny hole, sing the chorus and it goes Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X) I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Harry Potter All you other Harry Potters are just imitating So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up, please stand up, please stand up? [Eminem] Arthur Weasley don't gotta lie in his articles to get in the paper, Well Rita does and Lockhart use to but he just vabered! You think Harry give a crap about a Cup? Half of the judges are cheating Harry and other half don't give a wup "But Harry, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you could lie just to get me here? Sit me here next to Rita Skeeter? Cedric Diggory better switch me chairs so I can sit next to Vikor Krum and Fleur and hear 'em argue over who asked them out first. Rita, wrote an article about my love life in the Daily Prophet "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's going out with Hermione , hee-hee!" I should find out all about her show the whole world how bad she is {*AHHH!*} I'm sick of you Voldemort and Wormtail, all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*} And there's a million of us just like me who fly like me; who just are as brave as me who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me and just might be the next best thing but not quite me! Chorus [Eminem] I'm like a TV you, cause I'm only givin you things you talk about with your friends inside your living room The only difference is I got what it takes to say Voldemort in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I fly better than ninety percent of you Quidditch players out there Then you wonder how can kids eat up this legendary stuff like Every flavor beans It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty I'll be only person who won 7 Witch Weekly's Bravest Wizard Award And when I'm not doing anything my publicity isn't murkin' And I'm jerkin these 10 whole tar tanks of Butterbeer isn't working And every single person is a Harry Potter lurkin He could be workin at Honeydukes, making scar candies{*HACH*} Or at the department of portkeys, dressing up like Harry saying "I don't really care!" with his fake scar on and his hair messed up So, will the real Potter please stand up? And put his wand up in the air? And be proud to be scar faced and bushy haired now one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? Chorus 2X [Eminem] Ha ha Guess there's a Harry Potter in all of us put a scar on, let's all stand up.  
  



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